Trans-Australia Expedition

The complete logs of the Trans-Australia Expedition co-led by the Right Honourable Lord Bailey and Lord Van Bossuyt across the wilds of Australia in the year of our Lord, MMX

• Lord Bailey Reviews Sydney: Upon his arrival, Lord Bailey made a review of the city, its cultural landmarks, infrastructure, and defenses.
• Plotting the Voyage: We spent several hours plotting the voyage to come.
• The Australian National Maritime Museum: We made a review of the fleet in the harbor prior to embarking upon our expedition proper.
  • An Inspection of the Maritime Museum: The museum grounds and ships were inspected for seaworthiness.
  • HMB Endeavour: The first English ship to explore Australia was docked in Sydney Harbour awaiting our review.
  • HMAS Onslow: Steph joined me while Zach explored elsewhere to tour a submarine.
  • HMAS Vampire: A jaunt through the inner sanctums of a Darling class destroyer proved most interesting to the assembled dignitaries.
  • Barque James Craig: Our final stop on the water was at this fine old sailing ship.
• The Three Sisters: Striking off on our expedition, we made a stopover in the Blue Mountains.
• The Road to Parkes: The expedition marched onward toward Parkes and The Dish.
• The Dish: The Parkes Observatory has an incredible 65 metre dish.  This was the second stop on the Trans-Australia Expedition at an astronomical site.
• Northward Toward Adventure: We leave Parkes behind and head north toward Queensland.
• Siding Spring Observatory: A chance encounter with a planet led us to the Anglo-Australian telescope.
• The Australia Compact Telescope Array: We visited yet another telescope on our trek north.
• Toward Queensland: Further up the highway we found lush, vast nothingness, some mustard, and a nice sunset.
• Night in Queensland: The road is empty and the heavens are bright at night in Queensland.
• Camping at Taroom: We stopped at a little town in the middle of the night when we couldn’t find any petrol to buy.
• Onward Toward Rockhampton: My first turn at driving involved some serpentine roads.
• Rockhampton: The expedition pauses in Rockhampton to take on supplies.
• Capricorn Caves: A significant Bogan cultural landmark was discovered and documented by the expedition.
• Roadhouse Petrol: We pulled over for some petrol along the A1 highway.
• The Bruce Highway: The north-south arterial along the Queensland coast was traversed successfully.
• The Whitsunday Islands: The expedition surveyed the Whitsunday Islands and surrounding territory.
  • Arlie Beach Campervan Concentration Camp: We stayed the night in a concentration camp for campervans.
  • Arlie Beach: The expedition stopped for a few days to rest on the beach.
  • Sea Kayaking in the Whitsunday Islands: A kayak is requestioned and the expedition paddles off to hoist the Union Jack.
  • The Ragamuffin: In order to conduct a proper Royal Survey of the Whitsunday Islands, we procured a racing yacht.
• Giant Mango: A rather large mango was sighted outside of Bowen.
• Bowen: The sight of the Australia movie set is used as an overnight stop and staging ground for the next leg of the expedition.
• Trains and Cane: We passed several trains and saw some cane on the way into the heart of Queensland.
• Rock to the Windscreen: The lead expedition vehicle nearly had its windscreen taken out by an errant rock.
• Charters Towers: A frontier town at the edge of the frontier.
• Westward: The expedition heads west into the vast nothingness of central Australia.
• Road Trains and a Road House: We stopped to take on supplies in the vast nothingness of northern Queensland.
• Further West: The march continues into the vast nothing.
• Overnight in Cloncurry: The expedition stopped on the outskirts of Cloncurry for the night.
• Road Trains and the Wagon Wheel: At daybreak the expedition continues to the west.
• Termite Mounds and Other Attractions West of Cloncurry: The mounds continued from Cloncurry to the west.
• Mount Isa: The mining and cattle town of Mount Isa holds great promise of Akubra hats.
• Mount Isa Rodeo: The expedition, now outfitted with Akubra hats, penetrates the rodeo grounds to conduct cultural research.
• West into the Night: A bush camp is prepared when the expedition is caught out in the open after dark.
• West Toward the Northern Territory Border: More flat nothingness awaited the expedition.
• The Northern Territory / Queensland Border: The border was crossed by the expedition uneventfully.
• The Great Flat: A vast expanse of flat confronted the expedition.
• Barkley Homestead and Wayside Inn: The expedition stops to take on fuel and ice cream.
• The Great Straight: In the grand tradition of expeditioning, the expedition names an incredibly straight piece of road.
• Devils Marbles: The first bit of genuine topography in hundreds of kilometres is sighted.
• Wycliffe Well: Aliens are sighted in the desert.
• The Road to Alice: The long and flat bush is broken by occasional low escarpments on the way to Alice Springs.
• Highway Patrol Unit: The police catch up with the expedition and our flagrant violation of driving while American.
• Anmatjere Family: Odd artwork looms up out of the outback twilight.
• Alice Springs: The centre of Australia awaits the expedition.
  • Museum of Central Australia: The expedition reviews the natural and geologic collections.
  • Central Australia Air Museum: Locally famous aircraft on display.
  • ANZAC Hill: A fine overview of Alice was had from upon the hill.
  • Alice Springs Gaol: The place in Alice most fit for an expedition of our calibre.
  • National Road Transport Hall of Fame: Every road train enthusiasts favourite place!
  • Alice Springs Telegraph Station: The vital backbone of any empire is a robust communication network.
• The West MacDonnell Ranges: The expedition heads off into the mountains west of Alice Springs.
  • West Toward the MacDonnell Ranges: Onward to the Red Centre!
  • Simpsons Gap: A geologic curiosity in the northern escarpment of the MacDonnell Ranges.
  • Standley Chasm: Another geologic curiosity.
  • Ellery Creek Big Hole: A big hole full of water.
  • Serpentine Gorge: Geologic oddities abound!
  • Ohcre Pits: The source of pigment for central Australia.
  • Ormiston Gorge Overnight: The expedition pitches camp at the mouth of Ormiston Gorge.
  • Ormiston Gorge Morning: An interesting gorge and rock climbing experience.
  • Glen Helen: The last stop before venturing out into the Red Centre.
  • Redbank Gorge: A beautiful dark red gorge awaits the expedition.
  • Driving to Gosses Bluff Crater: The expedition goes off the beaten track to visit an impact crater.
  • Gosses Bluff Crater: An interesting comet impact crater.
• The Red Centre: The expedition finds itself deep in the centre of Australia.
  • Driving Through the Red Centre: Off the beaten path in the Australian outback.
  • Night in Alice: The expedition returns briefly to Alice Springs to resupply before striking out for points unknown.
  • Henbury Meteorite Impact Craters: A geologically recent asteroid strike on Planet Earth.
  • Through the Red Centre to Kings Canyon: Driving through the Red Centre on roads with no names.
  • Kings Canyon: The expedition collects several interesting avian specimens.
  • The Road to Ayers Rock: A choice was made to go right rather than left.  Nothing has been the same ever since.
  • Ayers Rock in the Morning: A circumnavigation of the megalith is conducted.
  • The Olgas: More megaliths await the expedition.
  • Ayers Rock in the Evening: Sunset at Ayers Rock is a spectacular affair.
  • Sunrise at Ayers Rock: Blood red light slowly leaks out of Ayers Rock in the mornings.
  • Ayers Rock Ascent: A lucky break in the weather allows the expedition to summit one of the iconoclast monuments of Australia.
  • Mount Connor: Often mistook for Ayers Rock, Mount Connor did not fool the expedition.
• Southward to South Australia: The expedition crosses the border into more civilized lands.
• Coober Pedy: The opal mining centre of south-central Australia is explored.
  • Staying with the Molemen of Coober Pedy: The troglodyte dwellings of Coober Pedy provide good respite from the relentless desert wind.
  • The Moon Plains and the Dingo Fence: Inspections are made of the fortifications against dingo incursions from the northerly lands.
  • Slobodan’s Didgeridoos, Crashed Spacecraft, and Other Normal Everyday Things in Coober Pedy: An interesting review of Coober Pedy was had.  Slobodan even played the Didgeridoo for the expedition.  Vin Diesel did not make an appearance, however.
  • The Desert Cave Hotel: An underground hotel in the grand style of Britain’s colonies.
  • The Underground Churches of Coober Pedy: The Catholic and Serbian Orthodox churches are built underground to get out of the wind and heat.
  • The Bustling Metropolis of Coober Pedy: Thousands of people live underground in Coober Pedy.
  • Coober Pedy Power Plant: It’s a long way from the Australian power grid.
  • The Old Timers Mine: An interesting abandoned mine now open for inspection.
  • The Big Winch Lookout: An overview of Coober Pedy from on high.
• Traversing the Woomera Prohibited Zone: The expedition successfully crossed the Woomera Prohibited Zone without detection.
• Woomera Australian Defence Force Facility and Touristic Rocket Park: The Australian rocket range is based out of Woomera.
• The March South to Civilization and Port Augusta: The expedition crosses through one last stretch of vast nothing before reaching Port Augusta.
• Overland to Clare: Real topography in the form of a mountain range is encountered and the verdant valley of Clare opens in front of the expedition.
• Cycling Tour Through the Wine Country of Claire: The expedition trades in petrol-power for pedal-power.
• The Vast Flat to Broken Hill: Another vast expanse of flat terrain stands in the way of the expedition’s progress.
• Broken Hill and Silverton: The expedition arrives in the land of Mad Max.
  • The Albert Kersten Mining and Minerals Museum: A fabulous museum of minerals and mining is visited by the expedition in Broken Hill.
  • Broken Hill Sculpture Park at Sunset: A sculpture park fit for Australia serves as the dramatic backdrop for sunset.
  • Graveyards and Thunderstorms at Night in Broken Hill: The expedition makes camp outside the gates of a graveyard.
  • To Silverton: On the road to Silverton.
  • Silverton: Mad Max Country: The expedition visits the hallowed grounds of Mad Max.
  • The Daydream Mine: An interesting old mine is toured.
• South to the Ocean: The expedition crosses the Darling and Murray Rivers into the state of Victoria.
• Horsham: The expedition overnights on the outskirts of Horsham.
• Grampians National Park: An interesting geological anomaly on the southern coastal plain is encountered and surmounted.
• Onward to the Ocean: The lush fields and farmlands of Victoria lead the way toward the Great Southern Ocean.
• The Great Southern Ocean: Sighting is made of the Great Southern Ocean and the expedition traverses its northern shore.
  • Flagstaff Hill Maritime Museum: The expedition visits an abandoned living history museum.
  • The Great Ocean Road in the Evening: A marvelous piece of engineering and a beautiful section of rugged coastline are inspected.
  • Great Ocean Road Morning: Further exploration of the Great Ocean Road.
  • Cape Otway Lighthouse: The furthest southerly point that the expedition shall reach!
  • Drop Bears in their Native Habitat: The expedition is nearly cut down by a pack of carnivorous drop bears.
  • The Terminus of the Great Ocean Road: The end is reached of the expedition’s love affair with the Great Southern Ocean.
• Kelly Country: The home of Ned Kelly beckons to the expedition.
  • The Road to Beechworth: After a brief, undocumented stop in Melbourne, the expedition heads north toward Beechworth.
  • Beechworth: A ramble along the charming streets of an old gold town.
  • The Kelly Country Pick at Beechworth: A wonderful bluegrass festival is attended by the gentlemen of the expedition.
• To the Mountains: Thoughts of deserts give way to snow and an alpine reconnaissance mission.
• Inspecting the Kiewa Hydroelectric Scheme Rocky Valley Dam at Falls Creek: A ski-based review of the project is made.
• Canberra and Around: The seat of government of Australia and a large sheep farming region is explored.
  • Morning Jaunt Through Canberra: The Australian capital city is reached.
  • Canberra Deep Space Communication Complex Reconnaissance: Initial contact is made at the DSN complex.
  • Mount Stromlo Observatory: Perhaps the crown jewel of Australian optical observatory complexes.
  • Canberra Deep Space Communication Complex Review: A proper review of the dishes and facilities of the Canberra complex is made.
  • Rolling Back to Canberra: After visiting the space-related sites of the Canberra countryside, the expedition proceeded back to the city.
  • The Australian War Museum: Perhaps the most hallowed grounds in all of Australia.
  • The Australian-American War Memorial: A rather interesting monolith in Canberra.
  • The National Library of Australia and Around: Modernist architecture of the capital city.
  • Parliament House: Bob Katter is spotted at Parliament.
• The Expedition’s Last Night in the Bush: One final night in the bush before returning to the civilization of Sydney.
• Captain Cook’s Landing Site at Botany Bay: The first point in Australia where Anglo Europeans stepped foot on solid ground.
• The Expedition Relaxes at Bondi Beach: After successfully returning to Sydney, the expedition relaxes at Bondi Beach.
• The Expedition Vehicle is Returned: After a month of faithful service, the lead expedition vehicle is returned to the rental company.
• The Expedition Returns to Sydney: Leaving behind a month in the bush is sorely missed when Sydney proper is encountered.
• The Expedition is Reintroduced to High Culture at the Sydney Opera House: A long month in the bush did not diminish the expedition’s lust for high culture in the least.